Aug 17, 2013

The truth about 10 year old boys (they really are not that scary)

When it comes to adoption and summer hosting there are always the children that are picked last (or never picked at all).  Sadly those children tend to always be the boys, especially the older boys.  It seems that horror stories are all you hear. So these boys continue to wait and get older.

Like many families, when we adopted, we adopted a girl.  

We used to be leery of the boys and figured a girl would fit better in our family.  However when we decided to host an orphan this summer we figured we would give a boy a try. We didn't know how it would turn out.  We were a bit unsure.  Would this boy listen?  be rebellious?  Be hard?  Would he even want to engage in activities with our family?  Would he be unmanageable?  At age 10 he is already well in the 'older child' range and we were scared about what we had gotten ourselves into. 

Turned out our fears were unfounded!  After he arrived we looked at our 'older boy' and we just saw a normal little boy.  I'm not sure how we were ever scared of him.  He brings us so much joy.  We have been blessed by him.

The truth became clear.  The truth told us that there was nothing to be scared about.
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We have been blown away.  The things we have learned have changed us forever.  Older boys are not scary.  There is so much to them, so many good things.

1) They are never to old for affection.
Older boys are cool (at least they like to act cool) but despite the rolled eyes they are secretly thrilled with hugs and kisses.  You are never to old for love.
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2) Daily visits to the pool are the highlight of each day.
Boys are pretty simple.  Teach them to swim and give them a chance to use those skills, and they are perfectly happy.  Always looking at the clock to see if it is time to swim.  Overcome with excitement when you tell them YES now we can go.
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3) Music never gets boring.
It doesn't matter if it is playing the piano or listening to light up toys. 
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4) Big brothers are the coolest thing ever.
Having a big brother figure in your life is just right.
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5) Boating is the best adventure.
Boys love adventure.
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6) Playing games will never get boring.
Card games or board games.  Literally hours of entertainment can be found there.
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7) Dressing up is the silliest thing ever.
His favorite is a big floppy hat and a glittery jacket.
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8) Having your own bike and the freedom to ride it is the best.
Riding back and forth behind the house.  For hours.
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9) Finding an old doll house is thrilling.
He came running up the stairs the other day.  Grabbing my hand and pulling me in the direction he had just came from.  In the closet he had found our old doll house.  He was so excited and kept saying "Doma, doma!/Home, home!"  He proceeded to play with it the rest of the morning by himself. 
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10) Merry go rounds and trains at the zoo are what little boys are made for.
The smile says it all.  When he finally got his turn it was like the world was smiling down on him.
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11) Playing with stuffed animals with a little sister is still fun.
This boy loves dogs.  He loves stuffed animals.  Put the two together and he is content. photo IMGP6662-1_zps751595c5.jpg
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If you have ever considered adoption or hosting, please consider the boys. 

They really are not that scary.

4 comments:

  1. We have been praying for your boy...we have several boys around his age and keep on thinking he is the same age...heartbreaking ...no greater joy mom is doing a special post for hosted children who didn't find a home this summer...check it out for yourself and get his info up for folks to see!

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  2. This past Christmas (2012) we hosted an 8 year old boy from the Ukraine (spoke Russian). The experience for us and him was life changing. We have one bio son who is 8 and a 3 year old daughter who we brought home from China in 2010. We have been truly blessed by adoption. Of course, we felt a love for Andriy, and found it so hard to let him go back to the Ukraine without hope of a family. The thought of him thinking he wasn't good enough to be apart of our family haunts us. So, we started the process of adoption weeks after he left. We were in the process of adopting him and his two siblings (brother 11 and sister 13) which we were unaware of at the time of the hosting. Since we were not able meet them, they had a harder time understanding why this American family wanted to adopt them. With this, all said NO to adoption. We were heartbroken and still Andriy will be forever in my heart. Wishing you and your family the best as you prepare to take a step of faith and praying for our boys to find forever families. God Bless. --Stacey

    Joy in all things,
    Stacey

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  3. He is such a cutie! love his smile!! Thanks for sharing. Really does make older boys appear less "scary" when you hear a personal story. Praying he finds his forever family soon!

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  4. Hey Joanna,
    Sometimes the hardest part for me is to wait for God's timing in my life. I want to take on too much, too soon personally. I know God is working. (I would like to speed up the process sometimes, but I believe He will make known to me what he wants at the proper time.)To encourage you in your posts I wanted to let you know that He is allowing you to also touch my husband's heart. Someday, from somewhere there will be another child for us. I am not sure yet how, when or where from, but I am thankful for your blog posts and the love you share and the fact that you are open to His leading. I will say a prayer for this 10 year old in the meantime and others like him. May God continue to bless and keep you!

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