Jul 9, 2013

He left my hands shaking

Sometimes I get blind sided and second guess why we even try to live beyond ourselves.  Wouldn't it be so much easier if we just ignored the need in this world?  I'm human, sadly.  I get tired.  Not physically but emotionally and mentally.  I just want to forget it all and live a normal life sometimes.  Those times are few and far between, and I know they are just passing emotions.  However yesterday was one of those days.  One of those days where I had to keep reminding myself why we do this.

Because this is the truth.

“‎"Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter, unless it is about loving God and loving the people he has made?”  ― Francis Chan

Yesterday Ruslan had a bad day.  It climaxed while we were out after lunch.  When something is scared they usually act out with 'flight or fight'.  Ruslan is a fighter.  It went down hill fast from there.  I ended up making a quick get-away with him to head back home.  For the sake of peace sometimes you have to sweat the small things, and that boy ate half a pack of gum on the 20 minute ride back home.  I'm just thankful he calmed down and didn't try to dive out the door.

He was so happy to be back home.  The next little bit was good.  We went inside and played in the living room.  We checked out the CD player and he learned how to properly use the buttons.  We made our way outside and he wanted to sit in the car.  Every little boy needs to sit and pretend in a car once in their life.  He is so curious and sometimes you need to let a child explore. 
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However soon after that things went down hill.  The rest of the afternoon left my hands shaking.  I won't go into details.  There is just no point in sharing all the details.  I'm not new to watching kids.  I'm not new in how children from hard places act.  I'm not new in keeping difficult children safe and entertained.  But something about this boy got to me.  Partly I'm sure because at the exact moment I think I might snap he gives me one of his charming smiles.

That night we had several different talks with him through Russian speaking friends.  We went over some more rules and hopefully cleared up some things. 

Today was round two.

We brought him to VBS at our church.  We had explained to him through a translator what was going to happen.  But after yesterday we all were shaking with nerves.  Not sure how it would turn out.  Right as VBS was about to start he dashed out of the building ignoring our calls and my stomach sank.  I followed him out to the car and we quickly worked out a deal.  We would bring in several small toys for him to hold.  He quickly hugged me  "Spaseeba" he exclaimed smiling up at me.  Crisis averted. We walked back inside and joined our group.

I was so proud of him.  He did so well up until the last hour of programs.  Despite not understanding a word that was going on he did so very well.  We still had our issues, and we have a few problems we need to work out.  He is exhausting to watch because you are constantly defusing situations and trying to be over enthusiastic to keep him entertained.  But he did it and I could not be prouder!  
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If Ruslan hasn't listened today he would have needed to go home early.  And if that had happened he would have missed out on a super special event this evening.  Our family went to the movies!  Something that almost never happens.  A 3D movie at that.  Ruslan loved it and I'm so glad he was able to be apart of it.  After the movie we stopped at the beach to eat a picnic supper and play on the playground.

Despite almost punching me in the face earlier, Ruslan ended his day with giving me the biggest hug ever.

I'll call that a success.  Thankful for better days, grace and a little boy that is learning.
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1 comment:

  1. Wow Joanna! I didn't realize your family was hosting this summer. How old is he? I hope he begins to settle in and you all have a good summer.


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